A Letter From the ACLU's Executive Director

Dear friend,

I'm angry and heartsick about what may happen in California on November 4th.

In the most personal way possible, I'm writing to ask you for a favor: help us ensure that gay couples all across California keep their fundamental right to marriage—the basic right to be treated just like anybody else.

I hope you will forgive the indulgence when I speak from the heart and tell you my personal story.

You see, I grew up in a loving and supportive household, where my family believed I could be anything I chose—anything except being an openly gay man. Neither of my parents finished high school, and yet, they believed I could accomplish all I set out to do as I went off to Princeton University and Stanford Law School.

They got me through the toughest of times, scrimped and saved, and always believed that failure wasn't in the cards for me. They had more faith in me than I often had in myself. Whenever my parents visited me at Princeton, my Dad would slip a $20 bill in my pocket when my Mom wasn't looking. I never had the courage to tell him that the $20 wouldn't go very far towards my bills, books and tuition. But, it was his support and belief in me that sustained me more than the tens of thousands of dollars I received in scholarships.

When I finished college, they were hugely proud of my—and their—accomplishments. That was until I told them I was gay and wanted to live life as an openly gay man.

Though I always knew I was gay, I didn't come out to them for many years, as I was afraid of losing the love and support that had allowed me to succeed against all odds. When I did tell them, they cried and even shouted. I ended up leaving their home that night to spend a sleepless night on a friend's sofa. We were all heartbroken.

When my Mom and I spoke later, my Mom said, "But, Antonio (that's the name she uses with me), hasn't your life been hard enough? People will hurt you and hate you because of this." She, of course, was right—as gay and lesbian people didn't only suffer discrimination from working class, Puerto Rican Catholics, but from the broader society. She felt that I had escaped the public housing projects in the Bronx, only to suffer another prejudice—one that might be harder to beat—as the law wasn't on my side. At the time, it felt like her own homophobia. Now I see there was also a mother's love and a real desire to protect her son. She was not wrong at a very fundamental level. She knew that treating gay and lesbian people like second class citizens—people who may be worthy of "tolerance, " as Sarah Palin asserts, but not of equality—was and still is the last socially-acceptable prejudice.

Even before I came out to them, I struggled to accept myself as a gay man. I didn't want to lose the love of my family, and I wanted a family of my own—however I defined it. I ultimately chose to find my own way in life as a gay man. This wasn't as easy as it sounds even though it was the mid-1980s. I watched loved ones and friends die of AIDS. I was convinced I would never see my 40th birthday, much less find a partner whom I could marry.

As years passed, my Mom, Dad and I came to a peace, and they came to love and respect me for who I am. They even came to defend my right to live with equality and dignity—often fighting against the homophobia they heard among their family and friends and in church.

The right to be equal citizens and to marry whomever we wish—unimaginable to me when I first came out—is now ours to lose in California unless we stand up for what's right. All of us must fight against what's wrong. In my 43 short years of life, I have seen gay and lesbian people go from pariahs and objects of legally-sanctioned discrimination to being on the cusp of full equality. The unimaginable comes true in our America if we make it happen. But, it requires effort and struggle.

One of the things I love about the ACLU is that it's an organization that understands we are all in this together. We recognize that injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.
Given what's at stake in the outcome of this election, I am personally appealing to you for help to fight the forces of intolerance from carrying the day in California next Tuesday.
If you have friends and family in California, please contact them right now, and ask them to vote NO on Proposition 8. You can send them a message here.

We need to make sure people keep in mind that gay people are part of every family and every community—that like everyone else, gay people want the same rights to commit to their partners, to take care of each other and to take responsibility for each other. We shouldn't deny that, and we shouldn't write discrimination into any constitution in any state. Certainly, we can't let that happen in California after the highest court in the state granted gay and lesbian people their full equality.

Unfortunately, due to a vicious, deceitful $30 million advertising blitz, the supporters of Prop 8 may be within days of taking that fundamental right away.

To stop the forces of discrimination from succeeding, we have to win over conflicted voters who aren't sure they're ready for gay marriage but who are also uncomfortable going into a voting booth and stripping away people's rights. With the ACLU contributing time, energy and millions of dollars to the effort, we're working hard to reach those key voters before next Tuesday.
If you have friends and family in California, please contact them right now, and ask them to vote NO on Proposition 8. Share this email with them. Call them. Direct them to our website for more information.

Don't let other young people grow up to be afraid to be who they are because of the discrimination and prejudice they might face. Let them see a future that the generation before them couldn't even dream of—a future as full and equal citizens of the greatest democracy on earth.

As Martin Luther King, Jr. reminded us, "The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice." As we strive to defeat Prop 8 and the injustice it represents, the ACLU is trying to make that arc a little shorter.

On behalf of my Mom and family, and on behalf of all the people who will never face legally-sanctioned discrimination, I thank you for being part of this struggle and for doing everything you can to help.

It is a privilege and honor to have you as allies in this fight for dignity and equality.
With enormous appreciation,

Anthony D. Romero
Executive Director
ACLU

P.S. All the polls show that the vote on Prop 8 could go either way. By making just a few calls or sending just a few emails, you could help make the difference. Please, don't let this fundamental right be taken away. Send an eCard to everyone you know in California.

Only One Week Left!

You know it's getting closer to election time when the only commercials you see are political ones. I just counted 8 commercials in a row and 2 of them happened to be the exact same. I don't know about you, but I'll be glad when this is all over. I feel like we're in limbo right now. Everyone knows who they're going to vote for, some already voted and now we just have to wait, wait and see what our future holds. I remember 8 years ago when George W. Bush won that hotly contested election. I felt utterly heart-broken. And then again, 4 years later, another loss to W. This election means so much more than those last two. There is so much more at stake. While Gore and Kerry were fine candidates were fine, they were special. Obama is special. He lights fire under people, he brings inspirations, and best of all people believe in him and because of that they believe in themselves.

The other day I was in the grocery store and a lady came up to me and said she liked my shirt. Even though I had changed just moments before going to the store I had forgotten what I had on and had to glance down. And then I saw it, I was wearing my Obama shirt. I looked up and smiled at her, "me too," I said. As she walked away she turned and said "you know you do see many of those around here, but I sure do like it when I do." She was right, even though I live in a large county with many liberal parts, I happened to live in a more conservative part of town where people stand on the corner with their "Yes on 8" signs (it takes every ounce of control for me not to flip them off as I drive by, instead I just give them the thumbs-down sign). While I have full confidence in my guy, there are others that I am worried about, like No on Prop 8, and Yes on Prop 2 (for humane treatment of farm animals). Both of these propositions are up against huge money-filled giants. To me, both these propositions have to do with fundamental rights. One for the rights of two people who love each other to get married, and the other for the fair and rightful treatment of animals that give up their lives to feed us (well not me, since I'm a vegetarian, but for all you meat-eaters out there).

Our country is so much better than how we display ourselves to be. Let this election be the one that says we are the beacon to the future. Let this election be the one where other countries will once again look to us as the leader of the future. Let this election be the one where we say every person, regardless of sexual orientations deserves the same basic civil rights. Let this election be the one that says yes, we care about animals and promise to treat them humanely. Let this election be the one that inspires us all to be better people, better citizens, better neighbors, better consumers, just better.

Next Tuesday, make sure you get out there and Vote!

Vote for hope and change. Vote for Obama.

Vote for equality for all. Vote No on Prop 8.

Vote for the humane treatment of animals. Vote Yes on Prop 2.

Got Hope?

Harvey Milk was the first openly-gay person to be elected to public office in the US in 1977. His most recognized speech, "You Cannot Live On Hope Alone," was given in 1978, shortly before he was assassinated.

Watch this video and come November 4th, vote for hope, vote for change.

Moms Across California say No on Prop 8

A Letter From a Concerned Citizen in Napa, CA.

I am concerned.

Tuesday I was in San Francisco. Friday I was in Berkeley. Saturday I was in Healdsburg. Driving through these various cities -granted, they're all generally liberal - I didn't see one 'Vote Yes on Prop 8' sign. Yet each time I returned home, I was routinely greeted with a barrage of what seems to be an ever-growing collection of those - I call bigoted signs - speckled through Napa.

I have lived in Napa the majority of my life, save for college, and while I have known that it was home to many of the more conservative persuasion, I am shocked to see such an anti-gay sentiment in my hometown. In fact, I was prompted to write this article because I overheard a woman passionately explaining to her friend recently, as we all stooped over slashed prices in the isles of the newly bankrupt Mervyns', "Don't they know, they are ruining marriage for us all?"

They don't know, because it's not true. I'd like to take this moment to remind everyone that the California Supreme Court ruled a ban on gay marriage as unconstitutional. Let's just pause for a moment. Unconstitutional. This isn't an opportunity for voters to vote for or against gay marriage, that decision has been made by our Supreme Court - the highest court in California. This is an opportunity to change the California Constitution so that the California Supreme Court's ruling is not valid.

Think about that for a minute.

Does this concern anyone else but me? Many have fought long and hard to achieve equal rights in marriage, and because of fear we are willing to create a society of privilege? For all of you out there that don't condone gay marriage, I want you to keep your beliefs. I want you to have the freedom to feel the way you do according to your religion. In fact, if your church doesn't want to have gay marriage ceremonies, I want your church to have the right to say no. Considering that there is a Separation of Church and State, that only seems fair, since this is a Civil issue.

I want gay people to be able to get married in a Civil Court and have the legal rights they deserve. I want gay people to have equal protection under the law. I want gay people to be able to have marriages in the Churches they attend, because there are many Churches out there that support gay marriage. I want gay people to have marriages where ever - in places that are special to them, like people do. Because, gay people are people too.

I have come to the conclusion that anyone who votes 'Yes on prop 8' is a bigot. I chose this word carefully because I think it is most appropriate. Merraim-Webster's Online Dictionary defines a bigot as : a person obstinately or intolerantly devoted to his or her own opinions and prejudices ; especially one who regards or treats the members of a group (as a racial or ethnic group) with hatred and intolerance. I was raised that being a bigot was a bad thing.

I wish this issue was merely about bigotry, but it is about much more. It is about our Civil Liberties, that is, if we still have any, or care to have any. I took the time to write this letter because it saddens my heart each day I drive through Napa and see that people have let their personal beliefs trump their belief in Civil Liberties.

I do not believe that gay marriage infringes on a person's right to express their personal beliefs, but I do believe that banning gay marriage infringes Civil Liberties of MANY Americans. If you aren't already voting NO on Prop 8, I hope this gives you some insight into the importance of denying this bill. Or if you know someone who is on the fence, please share my message.

Thank you,

A Concerned Citizen
Napa, California